#thinking of posting this to AO3

[arwenkenobi48]

Robin Hood Minific: Prince John And The Ghost

Prince John claims he doesn’t believe in ghosts, but a mysterious encounter is about to prove otherwise…

“…an’ legend has it, as legen’ always does, that the ghost of that headless execution’r goes a-wanderin’ through Nottin’ham when the moon is full, lookin’ fer a new head to chop off.” As the Sheriff of Nottingham finished his gruesome tale, he took note of audience’s reaction. Sir Hiss looked slightly disturbed, Trigger was listening with furrowed brow in concentration, Nutsy’s knees were knocking to a cartoonish degree, but Prince John’s reaction really took the cake.

The lion’s fur was standing on end, his eyes were as wide as dinner plates and his entire body was quivering like a golden blancmange. Every few seconds, he made a little whimpering sound like the beginning of a sneeze and in typical Prince John fashion, his thumb was slowly finding its way to his mouth. It took every bit of effort for the sheriff to not burst out laughing.

“Well now, how’s that fer a scary story?” Prince John immediately snapped out of his terror-induced paralysis. “Pah! Headless executioner, indeed. How would he even be able to see where he was going? What a lot of poppycock!”

Little did Prince John know that he and his courtiers weren’t the only ones who had overheard the story. A certain group of outlaws were also listening in on the macabre fable and had seen his reaction. Robin Hood ducked behind the castle wall and whispered to his companions. “Friar Tuck, put your hood up. I think I’ve got an idea…”

1 hour later…

Sir Hiss leaned on the sill of the royal bedroom window, a gentle breeze ruffling the ends of his cape. “Ahhh, what a fine night this is…” Resting his head on the end of his tail, positioned like a hand, he gazed up into the sky. “And what a beautiful full moon that is, too.” Prince John felt the fur on the back of his neck stand up. “D-d-did you say a…a full m-m-m-moon, Hiss?” “Yesss, come and have a look, sire. It’s sssimply lovely.”

Prince John stared up at the moon, feeling increasingly uncomfortable. “Uh, it’s fine enough, as full moons go, I suppose,” His words were more muffled than he wanted. “Are you alright, sssire? You sssseem a little on edge.” “On edge? Me? Rubbish, Sir Hiss! I’m as not on edge as a king can be!”

Suddenly, there was a loud, low clang from the courtyard below. It sounded like the solemn toll of a solitary church bell, but it was really just Little John banging two large metal pots together on the other side of the ramparts. “GAH!” Prince John leapt about a foot in the air. “What was th-th-that!?”

“Did it work, Rob?” Little John whispered hopefully. “Looks like it, Johnny. He’s coming into the courtyard now.” Robin watched excitedly as Prince John and Sir Hiss entered the courtyard. Grasping the hilt of his sword tightly to hide the fact that his hands were shaking, Prince John called out into the dark: “Come out with your hands up, whoever you are!” A strange groaning sound emanated from just outside the castle walls.

“Oooooohhhh…ooooooooohhhhhhh…” A hooded figure emerged from the shadows, seeming to float above the ramparts, draped in a dark cloak and wielding an axe. “Bewaaaaare, Prince Johnnnn!” It bellowed. “It is I, the Headless Executioner! Wooooohooooo!” Friar Tuck was enjoying himself tremendously, swinging his wooden axe about as a camouflaged Little John held him up. Sir Hiss saw right through the disguise, but the same could not be said for Prince John.

“AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRGGGHHHH!!!!” Shrieking like a mandrake, the cowardly lion turned tail and fled back to the safety of his tower, clinging to Sir Hiss like a reptilian lifeline. “Help! Save me! I’m too young to die! MOMMYYYYY!” Practically falling over his own tail in his haste, he scrambled up the stairs, sprinted to his room, leapt into bed and hid under the covers.

“Heeheeheeheeeee!” Friar Tuck guffawed once he and others had retreated to the safety of Sherwood Forest. “Did you see the look on his face? I guess I do look pretty spooky with my hood up!” “Nah, it was Robin’s ghost impression that frightened him,” chuckled Little John. “Ah, but you’re forgetting, old boy,” Robin smiled. “If you hadn’t been there to make Friar Tuck look like a hovering ghost, none of this ever would’ve happened. Hmm, I wonder what Prince John’s up to now…”

When he was finally sure that the Headless Executioner hadn’t followed him up the stairs to his room, Prince John peered out from under his bedsheets. He had been sucking his thumb so much that it was feeling a little sore. “Uh, Sir Hiss? Are we safe now?”

“Yrsss!” Said a muffled voice. “Hiss? Where are you?” “Yr sssrttrn rn me!” When he finally emerged from beneath the royal backside, Sir Hiss wheezed for air. “Yes, we’re sssafe!” He grumbled. “And I don’t think we’ll be requesting ghost sssstories from the Sheriff any time ssssoon!”

The sheriff in question, meanwhile, had slept through the whole adventure and was none the wiser. But his vulture henchmen, Trigger and Nutsy, had only witnessed Prince John’s legendary display of abject terror. “Well, looky there, Trigger.” Chortled Nutsy. “You’d’a think Prince John’d just seen a ghost!”

The End

[paintedcrows]

Whenever Bill sees KingOfNJ's fics through Stan's eyes he just thinks they have the same taste in fanfiction (disgusting. unthinkable) continued

[johnconstantinesdick]

The most popular fic in the Steel Samurai fandom had an unexplained seven year hiatus only to update at like 3 am on December 21st, 2027. The author explains that they couldn’t update fic while in prison (huh?) but now that they’re off death row (WHAT??) they’ve transcribed seven years worth of writing (Jesus Christ). The update is 130k words long. Edgeworth and Maya don’t sleep that night.

[miss-americanbi]

was chatting with my brother about gravity falls (again) and i said something like “man, can you believe stan waited and worked for 30 years just for the chance to try and bring his brother back?” to which my brother responded, “yeah, it’s nuts when you think about it. i wonder if stan got trapped in the multiverse instead, if ford would do the same.” HELLO???

[introspectivememories]

was it casual when i sat in your lap in public? was it casual when i said "recently my heart is crying because you're leaving"? was it casual when we decided how your last name would fit with mine? ("yuki tsunoda-gasly" / "no tsunoda, only gasly" / "yuki gasly?") was it casual when we sang adele's "someone like you" together at your going away party? was it casual when i knew it was you just by touching your ass? was it casual when i knew it was you by smell alone? was it casual when "will you miss me?" / "for 2-3 minutes maybe" / "i'll take that. even if it's just 2-3 minutes, i'll take that"? was it casual when that bus was completely empty and we still sat right next to each other, all the way in the back? was it casual when i picked you up multiple times so you could dunk a basketball? was it casual when i begged to come over to your house multiple time and then you finally let me and we cooked fried rice together? was it casual when we played christmas twister together and i said "your big eggplant is touching my ass"? was it casual when we were pressed up against each other on a scooter going two miles per hour? was it casual when-

[newttxt]

pls read the zosan fic “utilities included” and enjoy sanji making his own life as miserable as possible in plain view of his new roommate

from ch. 1 of utilities included (mind the tags and rating)

masterpost

[umblrspectrum]

"smaller mass" you say

[s0fter-sin]

thinking about the way ghost doesn't hesitate to start killing shadows when graves betrays them but soap only takes one hostage

you can almost hear the voice in his head telling him it doesn't have to be this way; they can still talk it out

"i'm calling shepherd"

his first instinct when confronted with betrayal is to play it by the books: to go up the chain. that goes against everything we've seen him do. he bucks authority at every chance except for the one time he's confronted with the barrels of his allies' guns

he wants a peaceful resolution; for the first time we've ever seen, he doesn't want violence to be the answer. there has to be another fix, a solution that doesn't end with him killing the same men he's been working with; his friends

nothing's happened yet

it doesn't have to go this way

but ghost has been betrayed before. he knows the way this ends; either with him six feet under or his enemy

he doesn't hesitate

it's only when they knock alejandro out that soap shoots; when they spill the first blood and cross a line they can never come back from

only when ghost orders him to run and he has to cover his retreat

and somewhere along the line, between civilians’ screams and taunting voices, between his shaking breath and ghost steady in his ear, that naivety is stripped away; his trust turned to teeth that he uses to sink into throats of men he'd have given his life for

"be careful who you trust, sergeant; people you know can hurt you the most"

he's learned the price of trust

just like ghost did

but unlike ghost, he has someone to guide him through the aftermath

"good advice, It"

[falloutcoys]

i love you fanfic authors who write in the source material's style, i love you fanfic authors who write in their own voice, i love you fic authors who experiment with structure, i love you fic authors who write one format, i love you fic authors who perfect one genre or trope, i love you fic authors who keep trying new ones

[its-tea-time-darling]

im sorry, we turned your boyfriend into a mole. yeah and all of tumblr‘s interested in him now. sorry

edit 9/12/23 11.22 CET

and so it begins…

fic1, fic2 @pathsofoak ao3 tag. Mole Poem @thaliaisalesbian . fic by @tourmelion .

update:

ao3 link. please vote for mole scene in most underrated goncharov scene poll

[liquidstar]

look this site really is awful for ppl with OCD so i just wanna reassure anyone that you are not Tainted Forever for consuming a piece of media with questionable content. the fact that youre able to recognize it speaks to your critical thinking skills, which is good, certain depictions should be critiqued. but you dont need to ruminate on it to the point where you begin to feel guilty for simply witnessing gross or creepy writing choices. you dont have to vindicate yourself to the fictional tumblr discourser inside your head, saying that youre now a bad person bc you watched the wrong anime. your actual response to it still matters of course, but thats that and this is this. just seeing it is neutral, you didnt commit a thought crime. its literally fine.

IF YOU ARE USING THIS POST TO ONLY FURTHER YOUR STUPID PEDANTIC BLACK-AND-WHITE DISCOURSE TO GET A "GOCHA" OVER THE OTHER SIDE YOU ARE THE PROBLEM. DON'T USE OUR DISORDER TO VINDICATE YOUR BEHAVIOR. THOUGHT CRIMES ARENT REAL BUT ACTIONS STILL MATTER. PEOPLE WITH OCD ARE CAPABLE OF THINKING CRITICALLY ABOUT OUR ACTIONS AND RESPONSES, EVEN WITH INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS AND RUMINATIONS. TREATING US AS IF WE CANNOT, ONLY TO FORCE US TO USE YOUR STRINGENT UNNUANCED DISCOURSE OPINIONS ABOUT "PURITY CULTURE" (TRIGGERING TO THOSE WITH OCD) AS THE ONLY REASONABLE GUIDE DOES MORE TO EXACERBATE OUR OBSESSIONS THAN HELP US. YOU ARE THE ISSUE AS WELL. YOU ARE ALSO THE TUMBLR DISCOURSER INSIDE OUR HEADS. DO NOT USE US FOR YOUR DISCOURSE. WE ARE PEOPLE, NOT HYPOTHETICALS TO USE TO EXPLAIN IF YOUR FROZEN INCEST FANFICTION IS OKAY OR NOT. TREATING US AS IF WE CANNOT AUTONOMOUSLY HAVE OUR OWN OPINIONS ON WHEN MEDIA IS TANGIBLY HARMFUL IS ABLEIST. FORCING US TO ABIDE BY YOUR IN-GROUP'S SET OF UNEQUIVOCAL MORALS IS ABLEIST. ACTING AS THOUGH THE ONLY SOLUTION FOR US IS MINDLESS MEDIA CONSUMPTION IN WHICH "EVERY DEPICTION OF XYZ, NO MATTER HOW POORLY DONE OR EXPLOITATIVE, IS ALWAYS OKAY AND IF YOU DISAGREE YOURE ACTUALLY AN EVIL 'ANTI'" IS ABLEIST. THOSE ARE THE SAME BLACK-AND-WHITE MORALS THAT SEND US INTO OBSESSIVE SPIKES, BUT FLIPPED. A SET OF MORALS IN WHICH QUESTIONING THE IMPACT OF A PIECE OF WORK MAKES YOU AN "EVIL CONSERVATIVE PURITAN "ANTI"" DOES NOT HELP MORAL OCD.

YOU ARE THE DAMN TUMBLR DISCOUERSERS MAKING THIS SHIT WORSE FOR US! YOURE THE EXACT SAME BUT WITH FLIPPED BUZZWORDS! YOU'RE MISSING THE WHOLE DAMN POINT!

[paintedcrows]

Some Fords! (and Martin K Blackwood is also there)

[proselles]

clinging to the sex warning for arcane like an angst with a happy ending tag on ao3

[stevieschrodinger]

Fish Guy deleted scene

“Okay,” Steve does Eddie’s tie for him. He’s wearing a pale lemon yellow button up and the blue tie he picked out, “say it again for me.”

“English is my second language, I’m still learning,” Eddie says haltingly, and with great concentration.

“Okay, and if they ask anything about you being able to work in the US?”

“I have my passport, and a work visa. I pay my taxes.”

Steve sighs with relief, “you’re getting so good at this. Okay, why do you want to be a postal worker?”

“I like to walk a lot. I like people. And I like being very punctual.”

The last bit still sounds a bit weird to Steve, like Eddie’s favorite hobby is showing up on time, but he lets it slide. It’s as good as they’re going to get right now.

“Okay, you got everything?”

Eddie holds his envelope tightly; it’s got all his I.D and his reference from Hopper, plus a cover letter they wrote together, “yeah.”

“Okay, how are you feeling?” Eddie flaps his fingers in front of his middle, “like butterflies?”

“Yes. Horrible.”

Steve laughs, “nervous. You’ll do good, I know it.”

[hardly-an-escape]

poll time!

*for context: usually I disagree with this practice and think things like [prompt] month fills should be standalone works in a collection/series. but I have a hunch people might feel differently about drabbles since they're so short.

I’m genuinely curious about this, but also I’ve been writing a lot of drabbles here on tumblr and I’m on the fence about sharing them anywhere else. thanks for voting and reblogging!

[strawbubbysugar]

The base Y/N design for my soulmate AU!!